 Shawn Speaks - This is
where I just blab about what's new, rants & raves.
Photo Archives - Photos from past years in password-protected
format and un-protected format as well.
Photo
Album - This section has the current year's photos.
Starting 2006, all pictures albums are loaded to
Smugmug, so
please contact me for username/password.
Links - My links page includes links
to my friends' websites, companies' I worked for and any sites that
I thought would be cool or useful.
About Poohead - A page about me with a bunch of
links to my interests. Just a few fun facts. |
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Lessons:
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got
the energy."
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with Nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the
top of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about
and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the
work and earn all the money."
And so it went, on and on, with the heart, the lungs and the
eyes, until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the
idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to
work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the
brain
fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the
Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson - You don't need brains to be a Boss. Any
asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold,
the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize
how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there
all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat
heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the
cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth SHUT!
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